Tears

I was going through my dresser the other day and found a book of blog posts from last year...I don't like being negative but for tonight I'm going to allow myself to be sad.

It's hard. Harder then anything I've done. And sometimes I am angry. But I've learned anger doesn't solve anything. It causes more pain then good. I'll be okay, I always am. But I've also learned it's okay to cry. It will get better. Things will always get better through The Lord. For now I just need to go off faith.

Dear Taylor Swift,
You've described my life yet again. It's kinda scary sometimes but please continue :)
Sincerly,
Julie

Two Months :)

This month flew by! With all the appointments we had it felt like we were on the go. But I love the quiet moments we get when Ayla is in a good mood and we're playing at home.

~She smiles up a storm now :) I love that she recongnizes who i am and smiles at me when she's fed and changed.

~Ayla has been having issues sleeping in her own bed...I try but then end up putting her beside me. not that I mind.
~I love dressing her in cute outfits and I'm pretty sure she loves it...she hasn't told me she doesn't :P

~We've been sick for most of the month but she is recovering well now.
~She got to brave the cold in her snowsuit, she hates putting it on but looks so darn cute :)

~Ayla hates tummy time but turns her head from side to side occationally.
~She's been gaining weight like crazy! She is almost 11 pounds now.
~She has a love/hate relationship with the carseat.

~Ayla has started to coo and tell me stories. I love it :)
~She celebrated her first Halloween

She's the best baby I could ask for :)

Ayla at 2 months

Happy Two Months Ayla!

Yuck

What's worse then having a cold? Your baby having a cold. Lets hope it doesn't stick around for long.

New Reality

I never realized how much a baby changes your life. All of a sudden everything is about her. I don't do things for me without thinking of her first, getting up at three in the morning to feed her has just become regular, I think of myself as a mother first and everything else comes second. But really it feels right. Like this is the way it's always been. Sure I don't get to go out as much or do something with friends spur of the moment. You know what though? I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Motherhood

I was re-reading a post that my friend Megan wrote a while back and although all of it was beautiful this stood out to me today:

"Last but not least... when your whole little body is achy and tired... and you're sitting in a chaotic room amongst a screaming inconsolable baby... and you think to yourself:

"What. the (insert word of choice here) am I doing? How on earth can I measure up to this task? Am I even making any difference at all?"

I want you to remember this: you are making a difference. You are making a bigger difference than anything you could ever think of imagining right now. One day I'm sure that all of us Momma's will realize just how much of a difference we made... and it will be an overwhelming thing. Imagine your greatest 'worldly dream'... mine would probably be becoming a concert pianist or something of the sort; something that you feel would bring you recognition from the world. Whatever feelings of recognition that you will feel from accomplishing your greatest 'worldly dream' will pale in comparison to the sense of accomplishment you will feel from Motherhood. I can promise you that"

Motherhood is hard. Harder then anything I've done but at the end of the day when I look at my beautiful baby girl I know that it's all worth it.

One Month

Today marks the one month date for Ayla...has it really been one month? I can't believe that little baby I brought home four weeks ago is one month old today. It's crazy how much they grow and how much your life changes when they come.

~Ayla is such a good natured baby and loves cuddle time.

~We enjoy nap times together.

~She loves music, even when mom sings along in the car. At least I think so, she never complains :P

~She's very alert,  to the point where at church she stays awake for the whole three hour block.

~She gets the hicups at least once a day.

~Ayla deffinately loves to eat, a couple nights ago she was up at 1:30, 3:30, 4:45, and 5:50.

~After her 5 o'clock feeding she thinks it's time to wake up...

~She's pretty spoiled.

~For the first three weeks I let her sleep with me, but now she sleeps in her own bed.

~She has grandpa wrapped around her little finger.

~I think she's growing out of her newborn sleepers.

~She's still just as tiny as ever.

~Ayla has no patience, she likes to be fed as soon as she wakes up. If I don't get up fast enough she gets very angry.

~She is also the sweetest little spirit I could ask for.

I love her so much and love being her mom. I'm still learning but I can't wait to grow and learn with her.

Ayla at 1 Month