Mother-like Love

One year ago I spent Mother's Day curled in a ball crying, not wanting to face the realitity that my first Mother's Day since Ayla's birth was without the one who made me a mother. I didn't understand, I felt very alone. I wrote a post about how I was still a mother reguardless of the empty crib and I fully believed it. I still do.

This year I didn't wake up in tears, I went to church, and I was fine. This year I feel like I've learned so much more then I thought possible about what it truly means to be a mother. My own mother has shown me that once you are a mother you can never go back. She is there for me on my best days and my worst and there is never a moment that I doubt she loves me. She will always be my mother and I love that I can call her mine.

I know that I didn't get the Mother's Day every mom wishes but I did get cards and recognition from many people including my mother. She has taught me more over the past year then I think she realizes and she had given me hope that someday I will be that mother :)

So for now I am a mother in my own way. I serve others children and I love them each like I would my own child. They know it and I hope their parents know it. I am empowered with motherhood and it drives me everyday. 

This year I feel so much more useful then I did a year ago and I am so grateful so my beautiful daughter who watches and loves me from above. I have no doubt that if she could she would give me all the kisses and hugs she could. I love her like no other, and for that I am blessed. 

Last night I was laying in my bed and as always I said good night to Ayla, last night however I asked if she could spare one night with me. Immediently I felt this peace come over me and I knew it was her way of saying that she is always there. 

So this Mother's Day I hope that all woman everywhere recognize that we are all mothers, whether we have children here or not. Each woman carries the ability to love with a mother-like love, and that is a beautiful gift :)