Have you ever gone back and re-read all your old posts or journals? Well I am in the process of putting together blog books. I have never been great at journaling so my blog is a way for not only me, but my future children to look back and see that I was not always the smart know-it-all mother they will come to know and love...because clearly by then I'll know everything by then right? (right)
Well in the process of doing that I have remembered the good times...and the not so great times. How grateful I am that I have matured and grown up in the past four years. Four years ago I had no idea what was in store for me or the changes I would be enduring. All I wanted was to be done with school and to grow up. Two thousand eleven was a game changer for me. Looking back my testimony was strong but I had no idea how much I would need it.
What has been standing out to me is that even back then I had an undeniable love for the temple. I cried in April 2011 conference because I wanted so badly to attend and learn for myself the great blessings that you gain inside. If nothing else that testimony alone got me through the most difficult time I ever endured. Re-reading those words helped me to refocus on what really is important and sometimes we lose sight of those simple things. I am glad however that that zeal and excitement never left, I still love it just as much as I did then. And now Chris is preparing to go through next week!
Looking back is such a funny thing. Of course you shake your head at the ridiculousness of it all, and how minuscule those things you worried about really were. But you can see how far your faith has come. I was so innocent! In some respects I wish I could still be that way. But really it's because of the experiences that opened my eyes that I am the person I am today. I wouldn't trade the knowledge I've gained for anything.
I am love who I have become. And the things that brought me to this point. Sure I had to grow up fast but it all contributed to the lovely person I am today. And helped me gain insights that I may not have learned as quickly had things not happened the way they did. Who knows where I would be otherwise.
About a month and a half ago I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in years I felt completely happy with where I was in life. Little by little this has been happening but that particular week I just felt so happy. Little did I know that the bishop had something up his sleeve...that very next week I was called to be the Relief Society President in my YSA ward. I partly knew it was coming but it was still a shock.
I am still adapting and learning but I feel like the very things I have mentioned in this post have helped to prepare me to do this. I love the sisters so much. And wish they knew exactly how much God loves them. I may not be the best in conveying this but I hope that I can little by little show them that they have a potential far greater then they know. My counselors and secretary are fantastic and have helped me feel comfortable in this new position, sometimes I feel as if they are carrying me along. But I've always thought of Relief Society as a team, even President Monson needs the support of his counselors. The church is great in that way, we will always have someone to rely on.
As for family life Eric is doing wonderful! It is hard to believe that he's almost half way done his mission. This year just flew by. Soon Chris will be leaving on his mission and I will be the only child left here. I am so proud of both boys and the men they are becoming. Before Eric left he gave me a blessing and it was such an amazing experience. Even in his letters, hearing him talk about the temple and the people he is helping has made me see that he is not the little boy he once was.
Chris was able to assist in setting me apart a few weeks ago and again I realized how he too has grown up. His vocabulary is also much higher then mine so I can only imagine what he'll be like once he finishes his schooling. I am still having a hard time coming to the realization that he will be leaving in two months as well. For one full year both brothers will be on a mission. Crazy how time flies and before we know it all of us siblings will be reunited again :) and what a happy reunion that will be.
Life keeps moving forward and quite honestly I am content with where it's taking me.
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