This year I choose trust as the word I'm focusing on and with that in mind I've been seeing tiny growths within myself. We all know that my calling has helped me grow in ways I never thought possible ...which has been wonderful and something I'll go into more detail later on this year. But there's something else I want to share today.
About three months ago my favorite blogger Ashlee put up a YouTube video asking for her followers help in a new project she was starting on her blog. She wanted to start sharing other people's stories of moments that they have chosen to stand and the story that brought them to that point. As time went on and I read story after story of women who endured so much I found myself weeping with them and more and more I found myself wanting to share my story.
Anyone who is a follower of my blog knows all too well of the trials I've been through over the past four years. To be quite honest I was scared to share my story. My blog brings in about 500 views maximum on any one post and the thought of sharing my story with her 33,000 followers scared me. So I put it off.
Until one night when I was feeling a burst of confidence and I decided to write Ashlee an email explaining my trials and the things that have made me into who I am. The words flowed and in the end I was quite proud of what I wrote; however my courage was gone and I hit the cancel button intending to delete those words. It didn't cancel. It sent. I may have had a minor freak out at this point but in the end I convinced myself that she wouldn't get back to me. That my words would stay forever in her inbox.
And I thought it would. About a month later though I got an email from Ashlee thanking me for my words and asking my permission to share it on her blog! I was in shock but a part of me knew that it wasn't coincidence that things were moving forward the way they were. So I allowed her to post my very raw emotions for everyone to see.
The comments started flowing in and I can't tell you how humbling it was to see that not only did people read my story, but that they actually connected with it. My intention has and always will be to share these things from my life in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will find comfort in it. Maybe even see that further down their own road, happiness can be found again. I want people to see that even when life is throwing you for a loop that one day those storms will settle and you'll begin to see why those painful things happened.
This is where trust came in for me. In that moment when Ashlee emailed me I could've told her no. Part of me wanted to. But I had to trust that maybe there was a bigger picture to this. After it was published people started viewing my blog too (5000 in one day). Admittedly that was a bit shocking to me. It was one story among many that have been featured on her blog but I am positive at least one of those 5000 readers were touched. At least I would like to think so.
It always could come in handy for Ayla's Stocking this year ;). I actually already have a sponsor so I'm excited for October to come so I can get the ball rolling.
Back to the point though. I have no idea if this is the beginning or a one time opportunity for me. But I hope that as time goes on that I can trust that if I need to I will be able to share a portion of what has shaped me into the Julie I am today. And hopefully I will continue to grow and have more experiences to shape me into someone even better (let's just pray it is less intense).
If you would like to view the blog post on The Moments We Stand it can be found here.
You know... the way I see it, of Ashlee's 33 000 viewers, at least 4500 (I'm taking of your regular 500) were touched enough to want to read more of what you have to say. :) That's almost 14%! or almost 1 in every 7!
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