I know you are thinking "Julie for someone who wanted to post more often, you are not doing a very good job" and you are correct! It seems that the older I get the more time seems to slip away from me and here we are in summer already! In July no less. It seems with everything in life blogging is the first thing to go. But since I have time to get a few thoughts down I better take advantage of it :).
I am still the Relief Society President in my YSA ward and I have finally hit a place where I feel like I'm successful in reaching the sisters and portraying my love to them. To be honest if I was released at this point I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Looking back at where I was a year ago (extremely overwhelmed) and what I am now I can see how far I have come in all aspects. I used to get social anxiety pretty bad and hated going to activities purely because interactions exhausted me. But somehow those feelings have slowly diminished. I still have issues in large groups but I have come so far since then and my confidence has grown immensely. I love my calling. And love the sisters so much. It's truly amazing what service can do for the soul. My lesson giving abilities have also greatly improved and I think it's mainly because I direct most of the participation to the women, they usually bring far more to the lesson then I ever could and often it's their insights that bring it home for me. What can I say, my girls are the best!
My bishopric was released yesterday and it was one of the hardest releases I have had (the only exception was my bishop was Arles and I were married). I have known Bishop Pierson for four and a half years now. He was there on the high council when Arles and I were going through everything we went through so when I came back into YSA it was so relieving to know that he knew my story...not the bits I share but the bits that I burry deep inside. He understood where I was coming from and certainly helped to console me on nights where my memories were brought back up full force. His councillors Brother Oliver and Brother Olsen were also aware of me and who I was. If it weren't for their love and support I don't know if I would have been able to transition as well as I did. So seeing them leave was bittersweet, I knew it was time but I don't know if I was ready for it :P. The new bishopric feels right though. In time I will come to love and trust them as much as I have my old bishopric but I am grateful that I gained not only their friendships but their wives as well. They are all very dear to me and I hope they realize what an impact they have had in many lives.
In eight days I fly out to see my cousins in Houston and Portland and I can't tell you how much I have been looking forward to this trip! I grew up only seeing them every few years but as we got older I have seen them almost every year (give or take a few here and there). My family in the states are ones that I always felt close to and that only solidified when I lost Ayla. I visited them a short time after and it was good to unwind and let out everything out, they understand where I am coming from and have always been okay talking about her in the present tense. I believe that she is still here in spirit and she is not truly gone. I'm fairly positive that their children probably see her more then I do and that gives me comfort. Then at the end of the summer all four of us (including Eric) are going to a wedding reception in Denver for another cousin. We haven't told Eric yet though but I know he will be excited to see the family :). John writes me the most tender texts and Facebook messages and so I am happy to meet his wife and celebrate with him.
THEN Eric comes home in 32 days! I have had a countdown on my phone for the past eight or so months and watching the numbers getting smaller and smaller has filled me with more excitement that I can express. Eric has grown in so many ways and I know that the person we are picking up at the airport will not be the same boy we dropped off at the MTC. I am excited to get to know him again and to show him around the YSA scene again. I've already been trying to round up people for him to go on dates with; he is not aware of this quite yet or I am positive he would kill me...or refuse... which ever the new Eric would do ;). But really I am so excited to have him home again. You never know how much you'll miss your siblings until they are gone for a while.
Work wise it felt like this year just flew by quicker then I could ever have imagined! The students I work with and my co-worker make every day an adventure and I absolutely love it. Going in almost two years ago I was concerned that with me looking so young I would not be respected as an educational professional and to a certain extent my age makes me interact a little differently with the students. But I feel I have hit that happy medium; they respect me as a teacher but when they need it I am there to talk to. The next year will be different in that they are renovating the school and so we are going to be in three different buildings so I am not entirely sure what that will look like come the fall, but as always it'll make for an interesting year and between my co-worker and I we will make it work.
As my social media circle grows I find myself more humbled at the words that are directed towards me. Most of the time I have no words for how wonderful people are. I may not be able to express my gratitude in the way I would like to but honestly there is nothing I could say that would show you how thankful I am. Really. You are all amazing. And I would not be where I am without you. So know that I am so very grateful for everything you all do for me and I hope one day you'll feel it.
Life is busy but I am so happy with where it's taking me!
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