Ayla's Stocking; Loving Those Who Need It the Most

For those of you who have been with me for the past four years, you are well aware of what November means for me. It's the time of year where we start shifting our focus from ourselves to those around us and start looking for ways to serve and love those who need a pick-me up. For me, November means I start up a project called Ayla's Stocking. I started this project as a way to help me cope with the loss of my daughter Ayla but since it's grown and become so much more.

I'm sorry for those who have been around since the beginning, so I will keep the recap short. Five years ago I had a beautiful baby girl named Ayla. She came at a time that I needed her the most and became my everything, nothing gave me greater joy than helping her grow and learn new things. However, just after Christmas she got sick and died three weeks later in the Children's Hospital. The next Christmas I started a project where I collected toys and other items as a way to help me remember her, and also help those in pain. 

Through the years it's grown and become something I look forward to. I have had so many great experiences and have felt the love of those around me as they give up a little time to make a difference in my life. I am always so humbled. For the past two years (and now this year as well), I have been able to partner with justserve.org and this has grown Ayla's Stocking exponentially. To be honest, if we get any more than we did last year we might have to make two trips! It's a fantastic sight to see and wonderful to know that in a world of so much turmoil there are still good people in the world willing to reach out. 

This year I had a unique experience. The hospice where Ayla spent her last days hosts a series of parent discussion groups periodically and because I live out of the city I never took the opportunity to go. But a couple months ago I was able to drive up there and attend. Most people who have lost any loved one know how lonely it can be as you move through grief. I remember while in the hospice with Ayla, I luckily had a great support system but few people really grasp what it means to lose a child. And that's incredibly difficult as you strive to come to terms with illness and death. Both the hospice and hospital became a safe place for me where the outside world did not exist. Not everyone is religious but for me it was a place where I felt as if I was inside the temple. It's really a feeling like no other. And the experiences I had there still are just as tender as they were almost five years ago.

While at this group I realized how lucky I truly was to have so many people coming to my aid in whatever way possible. I could see the pain as the other parents discussed their unique challenges and I couldn't help but feel that all this community of people (who never asked to join this "club") need is love. They need someone to acknowledge that although there is nothing you can do to stop this pain, you are there to support them through the grief. While you are in the thick of watching your child go through so much it's hard to see how many people do care. I know that a Christmas gift isn't much, but I hope that when those parents are at a group meeting in the future they remember that someone out there loved them enough to give them a momentary pick me up. 

As always there a few ways you can contribute; if you are in the Calgary region you can go to justserve.org and there will be information on how to get involved there. My house here is also a drop off location. You can contact me via email (julie.obrien03@gmail.com), hone, text, Facebook, or Instagram for more information. I am delivering the toys the morning of Friday, December 22, so you have until then. 

Here is a refresher on some of the things you can give;

       - Infant rattles, rings, teether type toys

       - Gift cards that can be given to families (Toys R Us, Walmart, Tim Horton's...)

       - Pajamas of varying sizes

       - Craft kits (with supplies all enclosed) or small boxes of pencil crayons, crayons, markers, etc.

       - Musical toys (anything that plays sounds or music, push button toys...)

       - Slippers (children and adults)

       - One-size fits all stretchy gloves

       - Toques and winter hats

       - Books (mostly infant and teen books)

       - Board games (for any age)

       - Sensory games (for any age)

       - Teen items (nail polish, journals, hair accessories, etc.)

These are just some ideas, if you have ones of your own then by all means go for it.

With everything that has been going on in the world I feel it's important to look for the little things we can do to brighten someone's day. Of course I would love to get as many toys and items to donate to my project, but even if you don't donate to Ayla's Stocking please look for other ways to serve. We can't change all the awful things that happen in the world, but we can change just one person's world. As someone who has been on the recipient end many times, I can verify how much it means. 

As always, thank you so much for the support I have received through the years. I cannot express enough how much it means to me! This year as you go about your Christmas season I hope you have time to reflect on what this season is all about and remember Christ.