But today was hard. Instead if waking up to cooing and maybe even a nice homemade mothers gift. My house was quiet. Ayla's room empty. Instead of picking up my sweet baby girl, I went to a grave to visit her. It was an emotional morning.
I am a mother. I know what it's like to have a little person who brings you more joy then you can imagine. I know how in an instant your life changes, and you don't even mind. Waking up in the middle of the night is exhausting, but when you see her smile when you come in, you smile too. Your whole life takes on new meaning. You would give anything and everything for your child. I understand.
I wish that I didn't have to be sad today. I know it's not what Ayla would want. She's safe, and that's all I can ask for. I know that no matter what, she will always be mine.
And I know that what ever happens,
I am forever a mother
Julie you are amazing! I loved this post! I cant imagine how difficult it would be to lose your baby. Reading your posts always makes me put things into perspective. Even if my baby has cried all day, even if he's not sleeping, even if he's being a stinker it makes me remember that it could be way worse. I am so sooo sorry you have to go through this. But you are seriously so amazing! I definitely would not be going through it with as much class and grace as you are!
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