Update

Has it really been almost a month my last post? Time seems to be moving at hyper speed and I don't even notice it until I look back. 

I have been doing great. Being on my own has had it's challenges but this time around I think I'm doing better then last time. For instance, we actually cook! Yes I have eaten real food most nights and it's been lovely. As roommates we make it a joint effort :) we share food which is nice. That way we each only pay a fraction of the price. It makes things a whole lot easier. 

My YSA ward has been friendly, I feel like I'm back home. I was in this ward last time I moved into town with roommates and so I know quite a few people. Even the bishopric is the same. There are also those people who know me and remember me from three years ago. I have found more every week who tell me they remember me or know my story. I unfortunately don't remember some of them but reguardless, I feel like I can be open because I don't feel like I have to hide the not so nice parts of my past. Or even the best part of it. 

Again I have my struggles. I don't know if the ache will ever cease and frankly I don't know if I want it too. There are days where I cry because I miss Ayla so so much. But because I miss her I know that she wasn't a dream. It sometimes feels that way, I can't believe how much has been thrown my way in the past couple years and it's been so fast that it felt like a dream. But it wasn't. I have the pictures and beautiful videos to prove it :)

Doing the Ayla's Stocking project has helped immensely. I feel like I'm serving others and maybe this Christmas I'll touch someone else's life like mine was touched almost a year ago(!) That's my hope anyway. I'll post more on Ayla's stocking on a later date. 

So that's about all going on in my life at the moment. I'm sure as the month goes on I will have more to say on the Christmas season, it means more now then ever and I can't wait to adequately express all the feelings I have about it :)