Ayla's Stocking; Creating Memories

It's November! This time of the year is my favorite season. Not only can you feel the joy around you but you begin to think outside yourself and see those in need. This season more than any other you happily serve others. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not there is no denying the feeling in the air. And I love it.

For those who are new to my blog, each year I put together a service project I have entitled Ayla's Stocking; the idea came as a result of wanting to remember my daughter who became ill on Christmas and passed away a couple weeks later. I spent two and a half weeks in the hospital and later the hospice alongside families who, unlike myself, had to spend Christmas surrounded by machines and the knowledge that their child was too ill to be at home like every other family out there. It broke my heart and when Christmas time came in 2013 all I wanted was to be spending it with Miss Ayla. I knew I couldn't so I did what I felt was the next best thing; I served. And that's the way it's been since. Over the course of November and December I will be collecting toys, books, and small items to take up to the Calgary Children's Hospital so they can distribute it among the children who might be spending their holiday season there.

In previous posts I've discussed the impact serving has had on me. And to be honest nothing gives me greater joy at Christmas than knowing that I can help bring a smile to someone's face. Life can be so difficult and painful at times! And often pain leaves you feeling that you are completely alone...if you are reading this and are feeling this way please know that you are not. My hope is, and has always been, to bring a level of joy to families who are at their wits end. I can't give that to everyone but having done this for a few years now I know it makes a small difference.

This year I was thinking about the families' reactions in particular, how they look Christmas morning when they realize the nurses snuck in at night to place gifts under the tree, how the children felt as they were able to "shop" for gifts for their loved ones when they cannot leave the hospice, and how the parents watched in awe as their sweet children who are going through so much pain smile at the surprise of finding something under the tree they never expected. These little things create lasting memories. To have some small part in these families' lives fills me with more joy than you can imagine. When your child is gone and all you are left with is memories I can testify to how powerful those memories become to you. I want the parents to be able to relive that small happy moment over and over and to bask in the overwhelming love they felt for their child that wonderful day. Emotions are powerful. Yes, the logistics of the memory fade but the feeling ... that never fades.

Despite it being four years ago that Ayla got sick I can still remember with clarity every emotion I felt. But even more than that, I remember the kindness that was shown to me. There were wonderful nurses and support staff that at the time I couldn't fully appreciate. One morning I woke after it being a particularly difficult night with no improvement to a pair of mittens and booties on Ayla. I tear up every time I talk about it. During the night a nurse down the ICU hallway thought Ayla looked chilly and so she knit her a hat, mittens, and booties while I slept. It's people like that who made a very difficult situation more bearable. And from everything the nurses have told me that's the exact reaction they get when they give the children and families the things I collect.

With all that said I can't create this alone. I always have had so much support and there is no way to thank you enough for it. This year I have the pleasure of working with justserve.org who will be posting a little about the project and give more information on how to donate if you are in the Calgary region (link found here). I worked with them last year and in two weeks we received more than I ever thought we could, so I am excited to see how it will play out this year.

Here is a refresher on some of the things you can give;

- Infant rattles, rings, teether type toys

- Gift cards that can be given to families (Toys R Us, Walmart, Tim Horton's...)

- Pajamas of varying sizes

- Craft kits (with supplies all enclosed) or small boxes of pencil crayons, crayons, markers, etc.

- Musical toys (anything that plays sounds or music, push button toys...)

- Slippers (children and adults)

- One-size fits all stretchy gloves

- Toques and winter hats

- Books (mostly infant and teen books)
-Board games (for any age)
-Sensory games (for any age)
-Teen items (nail polish, journals, hair accessories, etc.)

These are just some ideas, if you have ones of your own then by all means go for it.

I wanted to thank you again for taking this journey with me. It's been a great three years so far and every year Ayla's Stocking has grown into something so much more than the year before. I know I appreciate the love and support; however I know that the families appreciate it more than I do. Christmas is such a wonderful time of year! Even if you don't give to Ayla's Stocking I would ask that you serve someone this holiday season, it doesn't have to be extravagant but know every small thing counts.

The memories you create will last far longer than the gifts you receive.