Another Covid Ayla's Stocking

 This year has been flying by and I can't believe that we are a month and a half away from another Christmas! I feel like this year I've been playing catch up and now I am just starting to think about all that the Christmas season brings, including my yearly donation to the hospice in Ayla's name. I have been reflecting a lot on Ayla and her life the last couple weeks as I spend a great deal of time in the hospital with Felix.

I had an experience last week as we were doing a bunch of testing for Felix. One of the tests was a x-ray of Felix's lungs. I had to watch them put him in this tube-like thing so that he wouldn't move. I was waiting outside and as I was listening to my poor boy screaming I looked up to see the sign for MRI and CT scans and my mind went right to those hours spent in that exact spot. I was in the PICU with Ayla so I didn't enter through the usual way to those rooms and this caught me off guard. It took a few minutes of deep breaths to remind myself that I was with Felix in 2021 not with Ayla in 2012. Though Felix's testing was routine and nothing to be concerned about I felt very taken back with memories and with feelings of sadness that it doesn't matter where you are in life, those memories stick. 

Right now with the pandemic still at the forefront of people's minds I know that I"m tired and I can only imagine how isolating those who have immunocompromised children feel. Felix is at a point with his health that I know that if he were to catch a cold he would be fine. For some that's not the case. If Ayla had been sick during covid I would not have had the support I had back in 2012. It would have been Arles and I for three weeks and honestly, I can't imagine doing it alone; I had visitors and I had my family all there to support me. Last year's Christmas was hard, but I feel like this years will be even more difficult for those staying both in the hospice, and the hospital. 

As with everything else, covid had changed how we do things so this year's Ayla's Stocking will be different as well. My usual list is much smaller but my contact said that now more than ever, they really need these donations. Covid has hit many families hard and with so many in and out of work they can't afford or even have the mental capacity to handle very hard diagnosis'. 

This year they are requesting:

    -Gift cards of any kind (Walmart, Michaels, Toys R Us, Starbucks, Tim Horton's)

    -New toys in the package

They can't take any clothes or books at this time. A good rule of thumb is, as long as it's easily able to be sanitized, it's okay to give. I plan to deliver them mid December, I'm just waiting on Felix's bronchoscopy procedure appointment to know for sure when I will be there next. 

I hope that next year we can get back to "normal" but I thank you for your help through not only my hard times, but other's as well. The best way I have found to help my mental health, is to reach out to others when I can. Please find someone to serve this holiday season. We all need it :).