Conversation of the Day

Child: Do you live with your mommy and daddy?
Me: No, I live with some friends.
Child: Oh, so you're the mommy now?
Me: No, I don't have any children.
Child: Well you should.
Me: Someday (Child), not for a while though.
Child: Well all you have to do is go to the doctor and ask to have a baby.
Me: Oh really now?
Child: Yes, then I can see it...because I want to see your baby.

I suppose if you see a special doctor it could work that way :P. However I don't think that's the way I want to do things. Children are funny.

Humbled.

Have you ever wondered how people percieve you? Or what the first thing that pops into their head when they hear your name? I don't really care what other people think of me and that's how it should be. But twice in the same day I got a glimpse of how two of my friends see me and was surprised at what they see. I was telling my friend Chuck about my day yesterday and he told me that he likes how I'm always diligent in seeking happiness, how because of what I did he's going to do better in that area as well. Then later I was talking to Julianna on the phone and she told me that besides her mother I'm the strongest person she knows...as well as when people ask who the kindest person she knows is, it's me she thinks of.

How can people see something that I don't see in myself? I was so humbled by both conversations. I'm just trying to do my best like everyone else, so why is it that people are so inspired by me? I don't see myself as that strong or that inspiring, sure I actively try my best in all that I do but what's so motivating about me? I tried to tell both of them that there are far greater people out there to look up to, but both of them basically said that it's because I'm actively trying to better myself that they think I'm so awesome. I'm not perfect (no one is) and the fact that my friends see me in this light is beyond comprehention. Again I am so humbled by their words. It's hard for me to accept compliments, especially ones this hefty...but I have to admit it makes me feel good. Perhaps I am making some progress in becoming that person I have always strived to be.

So many blessings came from one simple act yeterday. So many. I have gained a greater sense of direction and know where my priorities lie. I'm going to knock on wood here but I think that I may have just overcome a huge hurtle in my life. Everything feels so peaceful, all that stress and helplessness that I have been feeling for the past three or four months has left. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and it feels amazing (yes mom, an 'I told you so' is in order :P). And to think when I got up yesterday morning I almost didn't do it! But I am so glad I did.

This is who I am. The girl writting this post is me. I am finally happy.

Finding Personal Happiness (day one)

Lately I've been a little down, and quite honestly I know that the person who was feeling that way was not me. I'm happy with my life and where I am so feeling that way was strange, but earlier this week I came up with a plan to change that. Today was the first day of my plan and it went wonderfully. I have not felt this at peace and happy in a long time and I cannot to wait to continue this. There were so many blessings that came today from doing one simple thing. I'll tell you more about details in a while but for now I just want to keep the specifics to myself. Just know that I am finding happiness and feel at peace with where I am. My goals will become reality soon but like I was told not to long ago "be patient" they will come but just in the Lord's time and not my own, this is hard to except but it will be worth it in the end. I also came to the realization that it's not where you are now, but where you are heading that is important. Today was wonderful and much needed. I wish I could express in words how I feel but I can't, I'm just plain happy and know that the Lord is proud of me for who I am becoming; I may not be able to do some things but I know that if I keep myself worthy and continue to head down this path there are so many things in store that I can't even imagine. I love this feeling. So much.

PS: I purchased a church book today. I have a feeling that I'm going to really like it :)

Reflection

Look at me

You may think you see

Who I really am

But you’ll never know me

Every day, is as if I play apart

Now I see

If I wear a mask

I can fool the world

But I can not fool

My heart

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

I am now

In a world where I have to

Hide my heart

And what I believe in

But somehow

I will show the world

What’s inside my heart

And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection

Someone I don’t know?

Must I pretend that i’m

Someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

There’s a heart that must

Be free to fly

That burns with a need

To know the reason why

Why must we all conceal

What we think

How we feel

Must there be a secret me

I’m forced to hide?

I won’t pretend that i’m

Someone else

For all time

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

-Reflection by Christina Aguliera

Be free to show who you really are, not who the world wants you to be. I am unique. I am beautiful. I have the potential to be great. I'm not afraid to show who I truly am.

I am me

And that is who I'll ever need to be.

Friends.

Friends: the people who love you even when you're at your most unlovable. The ones who say it like it is. Are there for you when you are making the worst decisions in life and have sympathy. Cry with you when life is being...well life.Laugh with you at two in the morning over something silly. Are there no matter what.

I have the best friends and the older I get the more I realize who my true friends are. Some friends come and go and that's fine I totally understand, over time people drift apart. But then there are the ones who stick it out with you, who even on your worst days they feel the need to talk to you. Those are the friends I want. In high school I didn't really have that many close friends, sure everyone liked me but very few actually liked to hang out with me outside the school setting. There was a time where I felt very alone, but now some of these high school friends I have actually grown closer to. I admit it in high school I was the quiet good girl, I never got in trouble and had a great relationship with my parents. I didn't need extra support really because I had my parents (and still do).

I love my high school friends dearly and know that without them high school would have been very lonely. I wish I was better at keeping in touch but I hope they know how much they mean to me.

 Julianna was especially helpful, her and I became insta-friends and she's had my back through the years. We don't get to hang out as often as I like but we are still close. She is sweet and funny and we have had some good times together. She's been with me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm surprised she doesn't tire of me. But she's still there whenever I need to talk. She and I understand each other and one of the first people I call when I need someone.

Becky was another high school friend, she is spunky and has a thrill for life that I wish I had. She is sweet and outgoing. I love her and how she took me into her group all those years ago. She's great! I also hardly ever see her but when I do it's always a good time.

Megan is such a strong person, I wish I had her courage and her ablility to see the good in most situations. Since moving out we have grown a little bit closer, I don't see her near enough but when I do I am so thankful she is in my life right now. She is so wonderful and through the last few years of high school she was a good friend to me. She has my back and still does. I am grateful that we are starting to get in contact again. I love her to pieces.

Since moving out however I have found that the friendships I'm making now are so much closer then previous years. Especially with my roomates Kim, Kalina, and now Jill. It was a spur of the moment decision to move out and I believe Kim, Kalina, and I were meant to live together this year. Also after all the roomates we had to go through in order to still live here over the summer I'm glad that Jill decided to move in.

Kalina and I didn't know each other at all at the begining of the year and quite honestly she has become one of my best friends. We had many late night talks in her room where we would stay up until early hours of the morning talking about random stuff. I miss those nights sometimes but I'm glad that come september we'll be re-united again. She is one of the sweetest girls I know and always has some country song to relate to life...it's cool though country is pretty good :P. I love her dearly and can't imagine how this school year would have been without her.

Kim and I met last year and little did I know that we would soon be living together. She is the funniest person I know and has kept me smiling all year long. I swear when life had me down she brought a smile to my face. She and I have grown really close this past semester and she is one of the few people I could talk to all night and still not get tired of her. She has seen me cry more then anyone (excluding my parents) but I know that I can lay on the couch with her and she can comfort me without saying a word. She has helped me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. I love her so much and can't wait to have summer adventures with her.

I haven't known Jill for that long but already I love her, she's like the sweet sister I never had. I can talk to her for hours about anything and she'll offer up some sort of great advice :). She and I have similar goals in life and I love having someone to talk about deep church stuff with. She and I have become great friends this past semester and already she is forcing me out of my shell. She's the best and I know I can count her her for anything.

I have many more friends who have helped me over the years but these are my gals. I love them each so much and would not be where I am today had they not been in my life. I know that someday I may not be friends with some of these ladies but they will always be a part of me <3

< 3

Dear Mom and Dad,
I've been trying to find the words to express how I feel right now and nothing seems to be adaquate. So I'll just say it plainly; I love you mom and dad. You are two of my best friends and I can't imagine how my life would have turned out without you there every step of the way. It's been a hard year filled with stress beyond belief, but you have eased my burdens and helped me get through it. There's still things that I'm working through but I know that you will always have my back. I love you both so much, I know I don't tell you enough but you really mean the world to me. Thank you.
Your Little Girl,
Julie

Stand Firm

"The final and decisive battle of the Napoleonic Wars was fought on June 18, 1815, near Brussels, Belgium, in the village of Waterloo. What is now known as the Battle of Waterloo ranks as a great turning point in modern history and brought about drastic changes in political boundaries and the power balance in Europe. At a critical moment in this great battle between the forces of the French emperor, Napoleon, and the allied forces under the command of the British general Arthur Wellesley, better known as the Duke of Wellington, an anxious officer dashed into the office of the duke with the message that unless the troops were immediately withdrawn, they must yield before the larger French army.

The duke ordered, “Stand firm!”

“But we shall all perish,” replied the officer.

“Stand firm!” again was the answer of the duke.

(See Howard W. Hunter, That We Might Have Joy [1994], 148).

'Stand firm!” was the duke’s order; victory was the result. In these two words of direction—stand firm—I take courage and counsel. Today, sisters, we are engaged in a fierce battle for the minds, hearts, and even the souls of our children, grandchildren, and other family members. But in this fight we have much more powerful weaponry and armor than did the Duke of Wellington’s troops. For we have available to us the strength that comes from faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and the power of the gospel’s ordinances. To be victorious we must arm ourselves with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and stand firm in our convictions.' "
-Virginia U. Jensen, Stand Firm

It may not be easy and Satan may be pulling out everything to make us fail, but leaning on the Lord for strength we can stand firm. It will always pay off.

Round two goes to Julie.

Lovin' It

So it's been lovely weather here in Southren Alberta :) and so Kim and I felt the need to clean up the yard. Well thirteen bags later we only finished the front yard and the alley...it's going to take longer then we thought. But hey at least we got something done. Another plus of having nice weather is that we can play outside with the children more, they love it out there and I'm sure if we let them they would be out there all day. Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to start on a tan :P

Last weekend Jill had her cousin's children stay over at our houseand it was so much fun! It's nice to hang out with children without the pressures of ECE philosophy. I can use all the praise I want and no one is there telling me to use encouragement instead :P. They also pretty much loved me. It was great. They also inspired me to clean my room. You know things are bad when a child asks you why your room is so messy...ooops.

So now that it's summer I'm finally getting out more :) Kim, Jill, and I have been going out almost every night this week. We went to a park near our house on Monday and Tuesday then Wednesday we went to a bonfire, it feels so good to not be stuck in our house all the time! Kim and I may be known as the quiet girls (I know right, us quiet??? neverrr) but people are starting to reconize us and slowly I'm talking more :P Yes I know I should be the outgoing girl but that's who I am and quite honestly I'm okay with that. Anyways lets hope this weather continues, because I looove it :)

Mothers Day

My grad in 2009

I love my mom. I say this all the time but she's seriously the strongest person I know. She can balance her calling, family and work and hardly sweats the small stuff. I love her and how she's such an example to me. I'm glad that I still live close enough to be able to visit her and the family every week :) We cry together and often Sunday afternoons turn into deep conversation time :P.I can talk to her about anything and I don't feel judged.

I have learned so much from her over the years. She has made me into the person I am today and for that I am grateful. From a early age I knew that she loved the gospel and put as much effort into her callings as possible. Even now I have seen her grow so much in the past year and a half. I hope that someday I can be like her. She's the best. So this mothers day I want to tell her how much I look up to her and how much I truly love her :).

My Love.

Have you ever noticed how everytime you listen to something it brings you back to when you first heard it? Or if there was a specific time in your life that you listened to it over and over again, when you hear it now you can't help but smile. I was listening to my music today and I find it funny how certain songs have memories attached, I mean my music library has everything from disney to church with some country and pop thrown in there so sometimes it's a surprise as to what will come on next. I love it though, there are some songs from my childhood up through the present and each one brings back specific memories. It's great.

A few years back when I was still unsure about what I was suppose to do my mom asked me what I was passionate about. At the time I was unsure but over the years I have found two; music and children. I have said this over and over but I love music, it can move you to do wonderful things. I don't know if there is any greater influence then music, it can control everything from your mood to your actions. It's pretty powerful.

This past semester I did a music play area and although the children were crazy on the drums I loved being able to combine my love of children with my love of music. It's not very often that we let children go wild and make 'noise' but they absolutely loved it :) and I loved hearing them have fun (taken with two advil of course). But never the less it was fantastic. I love music and how it speaks in a way that nothing else can.

Where words fail, music speaks.

-Hans Christian Andersen