Ayla's Story

So Ayla's journey into the world was a bit of a longer one but I'm sure it was an interesting one for her never the less. And it was a neat experience for me as well. It's something that people can tell you about but until you have a child you really don't know what to expect. To be honest I didn't think I would be able to do it. But I did and now there's a beautiful baby in my life :)

My labor started on the 30th of August (the Thursday before), I had been having braxton and hicks for months so for all of Thursday I didn't think much of the constant contracting. But this time they were coming regularly, so I kept an eye on them and timed them. They varied from half an hour apart to two hours. At this point they weren't to painful.

I continued all of Thursday night so I thought for sure I would have her Friday. Nope. They continued to be about half an hour apart. By Friday night however they were more painful and got to be about eight minutes apart but again I just kept an eye on it. Eric timed them on my mom's iPad for me. At this point I was doing everything to make the labor progress. Including taking all the herbs I could and bouncing on the rebounder.

Again I didn't sleep on Friday night but the labor was still sparatic. So for the third day in a row I was sitting at home waiting around. But they got more intense and by Saturday night I was in pain. Back labor had started and anyone who had back labor knows that it is probably the worst kind of pain you can experience in labor (almost). They were eight minutes apart but I decided to go to bed.

They continued all night and about five in the morning on Sunday I called Arles and he came over to wait until they were five minutes apart. They finally were at about ten so we all headed to the hospital, where they sent me home because I wasn't dialated enough. We went home and I rested for a while (my contractions were still every five minutes). By dinner they were really hurting so we went to the hospital. They sent me home. Again. They asked if I wanted morphine (seriously???)

I went home frustrated and in pain. I probably cried for most of the evening and by eleven I was in such pain that I really thought I wouldn't make it through this. I had been in 'false' labor for days and was still at home. I went to bed and attempted to sleep between contractions. It didn't work. My mom so willingly helped me through each one, I really couldn't imagine what was going through her head. I was not in a good place at that time. Finally at three I was drained and hadn't even started the real labor yet! I called Arles again and we met him at the hospital. This time I could barely walk. Never had I felt such pain and there was that fear that they would send me home again. I felt that if they did I would have the baby at home (not true but still, I was not exactly rational at this time). But after checking me they found I was four centimeters!!!!!

That's where the hospital labor began. I ordered an epidural as soon as I was admitted and was high on a cloud. I was laughing and feeling like myself again :) I love the epidural. We were all finally able to rest a bit. Arles continuously was making me laugh though. We were pretty excited that we were finally going to meet our baby.

I stayed at four for a while but I didn't mind, I was just enjoying the whole experience. I also enjoyed being able to watch the contraction monitor go way up and then level off. I couldn't feel a thing :). Once I hit five though I had the urge to push. People can tell you that your body knows what to do but until you experience it, you don't really know. So for about an hour I fought the urge to push. That was probably one of the worst parts. I needed to push. Everything in my body told me to push. And I had to fight it.

But when the nurse checked me again I was nine centimeters. One more then I would be on the home stretch. Once she told me I could push I was so relieved that I went right to it. My mom was on one side and Arles was on the other. I went into my zone and fought with everything I had. To this day I still don't know where my strength came from. They told me that the pushing could last up to two hours...I wasn't going to do that. I closed my eyes and blocked everything out. All I said in that forty five mintues was "ok" then nod at my mom and Arles indicating that I was going to push.

It was so amazing and I was so amazed that I had that kind of will power to do it. I was so close and all I had wanted for nine months was to see my beautiful baby. I was so close. With every contraction I felt more and more ready to bring a new life into the world. Finally I heard Arles exclaim that he could see her. Never had I felt such a need to do what my body wanted me to do. I gave it everything I had and finally Doctor Coma pulled her out. This little tiny being was there. I couldn't say anything, I was in such shock that when asked if I wanted to hold her I just stared blankly at the nurse. But my mom answered for me and said yes.

The outpouring of emotion was amazing. Here was this child that I am now responsible for. Arles and I created her. She was finally here. There was so much running through my head. Every day I look at her and am in awe over how perfect she is. I love being a mom. I love that through the entire process my family and Arles and countless others were so willing to help me. I can finally say that I understand unconditional love. I love my little girl :)

My Little One

Meet Ayla Carol Jacqueline Tippie :)
6 pounds 4 oz and 20 inches
I love her :)

Motherhood

I'm so exausted right now. AND really should go to sleep but I just realized how much of a burden I have right now. It just hit me. Inside me is one of Heavenly Father's children intrusted to Arles and I to raise and teach...how could I ever measure up to such a huge responsibility? Motherhood is a huge deal. Many people don't get it, children come straight from heaven and as such they need to be taught the right way. Not the worldly views. I love how my parents raised me and I hope I'll come close to the parents they were. Life is so special and I'm overjoyed to be a part of this process. It's going to be hard. It's going to be frustrating. I'm going to cry, yell, break down. But that's the thing, this is only a trial run and eventually our children will come to appreciate every momment in their lives.

Excuse the spelling errors. I am pretty tired :P

PS: Read this letter to me from one of my good friends Megan. It made me cry

{Eternal Love}

It's been a week :). Everything on my wedding day went as planned and it was beautiful!! The weather was gorgeous, the sealing was extra special, and my husband (!!) and I are an eternal family. I could tell you all about my day but it really just flew by quickly, I am so happy. I thank God every day that Arles came into my life because I can't imagine life without him. Seperate we're wonderful people but together we just seem to fit. He makes me better and makes me want to hold true to everything I promised him in the temple. We even went back on Thursday to do some sealings. It was an awesome experience and I'm glad Arles and I both have the desire to attend the temple as often as we can. It's interesting how close you are to the other side when your inside. The first time I went through I felt the presence of someone very close to me {Grandma Wood}. Not only was she there that day but last week as we were in the sealing room I noticed that beside my mom there was an empty chair...it wasn't empty. She was there, the sealer told us that we had some special guests in the room with us and it was then I realized how close angels really are to us. They are always there, the hard thing is reconizing it. I love married life and can't wait to see how it plays out. :)

I Love to See the Temple, and I Went Inside.

I went to the temple last night! I can't really put in words how I feel other then I hope every member of the church strives to be worthy to enter that sacred place. I love it. I can't wait to go over and over again. It is somewhere that I can escape the world. I really wish I could explain with words how happy I was to be there and to commit to the higher law but I can't. It's felt not spoken. I'm so grateful for everyone that got me to this point and I can't wait to go next week(!!!!) with my future companion. He's wonderful and I love I got to share this experience with him.

I'm the Lucky One

So yesterday I came home to find an arangement of flowers sitting on our table, not only did I get some lovely flowers but Arles gave me a wedding planning book as well. Often days I wonder how in the world I got so lucky, he is so easy going and willing to help whenever needed. Like yesterday for instance, Kim and I were complaining about how dirty our house is getting and next thing we know he has a cloth out and is dusting the house down. He's always the first to do the dishes and most nights when I'm begining to stress out he is the one to calm me down. He is wonderful and I can't wait to spend eternity with this man.

It's been an eventful week for me. Work has been pretty slow but I actually don't mind since I got tons more planning done. On Wednesday not only did I get my ring (!!) I also gained a niece. Her name is Desiree and by the looks of the pictures she is one of the cutest babies I've ever seen. I can't wait to go and meet her along with the rest of the family next week :). Arles and I also went to look at a place. When we got there we were a little bit early so we knocked on the front door. Little did we know we actually know one of the girls living upstairs. When the landlord got there we along with three other people began to fill out applications. Since Arles and I were the only couple it took us twice as long to fill it out, but it was actually a good thing it did. While I was finishing up my part Arles talked to the landlord for a bit then she told us that she is willing to offer us the place if we want it.

It's amazing to me how much the Lord loves us. Everything for this wedding has been falling into place, it shows me that we are making the right choice. If someone would have told me back in April that I would be married by my next birthday I would never have believed them, but like I said we both have recieved a conformation that this is right. And no matter what people may say about us. We know and the Lord knows. That's all that matters :)

PS: I'm heading to the states later to pick out a wedding dress...!!!!!! I'm so excited :)

Enhanced Vocabulary

So recently I have enhanced my vocabulary...gamers vocabulary to be more specific :P. Who knew in order to understand gamer talk you needed to learn a whole new language? Apparently you do. Almost every night for the past week I've watched the boys upstairs play Call of Duty, and with the help of Jessie and Andrew I have defined a few words:

Camping hard: When someone hides out in the spot you reapear at after you are killed. It's the cheap way of getting kills.

Noob: Not exactly sure what it means but I know it's said tons. Usually it's said  in frustration, "Ahhhh! Noob..."

Nuke town: A nuclear town, there's tons of bombs and such going off. It's a good time.

(A personal fav) Winning: "While trying to stick someone with a grenade you are killed, but you kill them as well." This is different then 'win'

Win: When you get 75(?) kills and move on to the next round.

(Also a favorite) Failing: "To be stabbed in the gut". Such a lovely description.

I'm sure I'm missing quite a few words but I'm somewhat understanding what's going on now. But I don't think I'll ever really get into playing it, it's to entertaining to watch the person playing. Apparently it's intense. It's alright though, as long as it doesn't become a huge addiction it's all good. Although the "ha ha I just stuck a knife in your face!" talk concerns me a little :P.

***

On a side note yesterday the Elders came over and taught a lesson to Jessie's best friend. I have never sat in on a lesson to a non-member before and it was great. Seeing someone get a light in their eyes and knowing that there is something there that wasn't there before is by far the most amazing thing I've seen in a long time. I love this gopel so much and being able to watch someone learn and actually take the challange to find out for themself is mind blowing. The lesson went well and by the end he had commited to read the Book of Mormon and come to church on Sunday (which I'm giving a talk at, I thought I could stay invisible forever...apparently such is not the case).

I really am just amazed at how one person can effect another. Jessie got baptized a month ago and already is spreading the gospel, something I have never been good at. His testimony is so strong, so powerful, and pure that you can't deny that he knows it. He's brought me close to tears on a couple of occasions with his testimony. I wish every member had that fire.

Anyways we all had a good chat and I can't wait to see how this all pans out. I love this gospel. So much. There is so much I want to say but can't find the words to express it. I am so spiritually filled today and so happy for the gospel in my life. Without it I wouldn't be the person I am today :) Well anyway there will be more posts to follow. There is tons going on this weekend and I plan on taking as many pictures as possible. Keep an eye out :)

PS: This is my hundredth post!! Crazy hey??

Finding Personal Happiness (day one)

Lately I've been a little down, and quite honestly I know that the person who was feeling that way was not me. I'm happy with my life and where I am so feeling that way was strange, but earlier this week I came up with a plan to change that. Today was the first day of my plan and it went wonderfully. I have not felt this at peace and happy in a long time and I cannot to wait to continue this. There were so many blessings that came today from doing one simple thing. I'll tell you more about details in a while but for now I just want to keep the specifics to myself. Just know that I am finding happiness and feel at peace with where I am. My goals will become reality soon but like I was told not to long ago "be patient" they will come but just in the Lord's time and not my own, this is hard to except but it will be worth it in the end. I also came to the realization that it's not where you are now, but where you are heading that is important. Today was wonderful and much needed. I wish I could express in words how I feel but I can't, I'm just plain happy and know that the Lord is proud of me for who I am becoming; I may not be able to do some things but I know that if I keep myself worthy and continue to head down this path there are so many things in store that I can't even imagine. I love this feeling. So much.

PS: I purchased a church book today. I have a feeling that I'm going to really like it :)

Finished!

I Julie Marie am finished my first year of college. How does it feel? It actually hasn't even hit me yet, but i'm sure in a week I'll be so happy to be finished :). I finished up my last two tests today and I think they went well, I totally knew the short answer question! I was so proud of myself for memorizing the parts of a hammer and saw, somehow I knew she would ask that and I was right :) Anyways tonight the girls and I are having a party :) after going to a fireside with Richard G Scott of course. It's going to be great :)

PS:Yes I'm aware I used ':)' tons but I am really just that happy :P

Conference and Other Random Thoughts

"I love to see the temple, I'll go inside someday."

Yesterday and today was General Conference. I loved it. Although I only saw bits and pieces of yesterday morning's session due to the internet cutting out quite a bit, I still got tons out of this weekend. It's amazing to me how the leaders of our church know exactly what needs to be said, it may be uncomfortable to talk about but you can tell they are so passionate about what they are saying. I know that what they say comes from Heavenly Father and everything they say is for my benefit.

 I cried (actually bawled is more like it) this morning durring President Monson's talk about temples, it's something I feel strongly about and something that I wish those who have the opportunity to do temple work would take advantage of. It's one of those things that is so important to me and I hate seeing people being so casual about it. If nothing else works out for me in this life I would be perfectly happy if I had that little piece of paper in my pocket. It's everything to me and I want it so bad. I just laughed at myself through the tears, here's a snippet of what just went through my head; what twenty year old wants to attend the temple this bad? Honestly Julie, pull yourself together...you're twenty!! But when I do have that piece of paper I'll appreiciate it so much more.

My mom and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon. We were talking about how angels are all around us and most times we don't even recognize it. I don't always realize it but there is a connection with one in particular that I do recognize, and she is here tons. Although I don't remember her much I know that she is here more then we realize. This angel is my Grandma Wood. There are times that I feel her very close. My mom always said that I had a special connection with her and I do believe I do, I was her drooly Julie :P. There are times (quite a few times actually) that I wish she were here and that I could talk face to face with her. Sometimes I just want a hug. I think she does give me some and lately I have afraid that I have disapointed her, but she has been close and in her way giving me a hug as if to say that no, I haven't. I don't think I could ever do anything to make her think less of me.

I think I've said this before but I have no memories of her when she was here on the earth, however, I have some blurrs of after she left. I used to talk to her before I went to bed, it's silly but I laid in bed telling her about my day. I don't know for sure but I would like to think that she listened as often as she could. It's not just me she's around though, I think that she loves her family and visits all of us as often as she can. I can't wait for the day when I can ask her :). I'm grateful for the knowlege that I will be able to see her again, I don't know where I would be without this church.

In other news my roommates and I are redecorating again :P (pictures to come later). I love my life :) Anyways I should start packing for my school trip...yay for having to be at the school at seven am!!

He'll Carry You

I was listening to some efy/church music today and decided to try to find one of the songs on youtube to post on my blog. However, the one song I wanted to find wasn't there but this song title jumped out at me and I decided to listen. I think this is my new favorite song; it's so comforting to hear and I hope that anyone who reads this post finds as much joy in the song as I have. Enjoy.

Our Home :)

So I came home yesterday and Kim had 'the look' in her eyes...the look like she was going to suggest we do something with our house, something that would be really hard to say no to. Well as you can see I said yes. But it was so worth it! Kalina, Kim, and I had the best time putting some nice touches to our already pretty cute home. Pictures don't really do it justice but here's a photo tour:

Our shelf, not new but notice we have a couple of frames filled as well as some books put on the shelf.

A tree to make that area look cuter (and cover up the plugs hooking into the back of our TV)

This is my favorite room now, who would've thought of putting a picture in the bathroom? But seriously it's so cool.

Kim added these in the window in the bathroom, so we have a beachy type thing going on.

Bobbi gave us this picture and it matched our travel theme perfect! (notice the clock that says London?) As well the lettering on the side is a nice touch :)

Just a cute picture, Kalina pretty much finds the sweetest photos :)

A palm tree in the kitchen

Kim put this one together, it's pretty fantastic in person.

There you have it, we always seem to be adding more but our house is looking more and more like a home. I love it and I love us :)

Fears and Dreams

Yeaterday I had a chance to reflect on my biggest fear and biggest dream. At first glance it may seem simple, like a one word answer or a simple phrase. But there is so much more to it, fears have a way of either inspiring you to do better or cause you to put it in the back of your head and never think about it. Dreams can also have that effect, if you choose to ignore it thinking it won't ever happen chances are it won't. It can also drive you to do anything in your power to get it.

Well after some thought I found that my biggest fear is failure. Failure to be become who I meant to be, failure to listen to others, faliure to see what's right in front of me, failing to miss opportunities because I am going to fast, falilure to get good grades, failing to make the most of this life...Now I know that we are told to do our best and the Lord will do the rest, but what if I think I am doing my best but really I could've tried harder? This is by far my greatest fear, I want to become all that I can be and sometimes it feels as if I'll never reach my full potential. Yes I'm being overdramatic but failure is honestly the thing that scares me the most.

On the flip side my biggest dream right now? This place:

Cardston Alberta Temple

I want to go through a session for myself, then after that first time go for others on the other side. I love how the temple changes people, I can always tell after someone has gone through because there is just something different about them. It's hard to explain but I want that. So bad. Through the years I've picked up bits and pieces but I still have no comprehension of what actually occurs. I remember one time when I went to pick my parents up at the temple as I sat in the van waiting for them to come out I just stared at the temple then as I was scanning it I looked at the top room I had this overwelming feeling of peace and I started to tear up. Actually every time I think about going inside I get emotional. I just want it so bad. There is so much to learn and I can't wait for the day when I am permitted to enter.

I sometimes feel like I shouldn't be wanting it this bad at my age, I mean I'm only twenty! I've had this conversation with my mom many times and it always comes to the same conclusion; good things come to those who wait. But one good thing about wanting it so bad is that I am not willing to let anything get in my way, and believe me when I say even if I have to wait another five years I will still have the same passion and want it just as bad or even more then I do now. I don't know when my dream will come true but I know that in the end all the waiting will be worth it :)

Not Shoes This Time!

So today I went to Walmart to pick up a few things, and as I was walking to the pharmacy I looked up and saw some pictures, I thought they were nice, but I have resisted pictures before (usually I can't justify spending tons of money), but then I saw this...

I don't know what it was about this one as oppose to the other ones but it stood out to me. It's so calming and peaceful. I literally stood there for a few minutes just looking at it and trying to convince myself that I didn't need it, that I shouldn't buy it. But I couldn't walk away from a deal like that! To me this picture seems like it should be way more then twenty dollars, so I justified it...and now it's sitting on my bed waiting to be hung up. But hey, it's not shoes this time!

Sacrifice

Today our relief society lesson was on sacrifice and I have to say that it wasn't until I got to my parents house that it hit me, Abraham was told to sacrifice his son which he was very willing to do. What we forget is that Abraham's son was not a child, he was a grown man and if he had wanted to he could have fought off his father. But knowing that the commandment came from the Lord he was willing to give his life. Another aspect we fail to remember is that Abraham was almost sacrificed as a younger man himself so putting his son through what he thought he had avoided when he escaped must have been very difficult for him. But by excercising faith he showed the Lord that he was willing to do whatever was asked of him. I love this story because it shows me that whatever the sacrifice we never have to do it alone, the Lord always makes up for some of it. It's a comfort to know that there is always someone there for us and we never go it alone :)

Recap of the Weekend

This weekend has been packed with family and fun. It started Friday night when we anxiously waited for my family from Denver to arrive at our house. Josh was the most excited to see them everytime a car passed he would get excited until he realized that it wasn't them, then he would get sad. When it finally was them we told him to get the door, he responded with "ahhh dang it!!" haha, he's a funny kid :P. We sat around and talked for a while which was great, I love seeing them and it makes me realize how much I miss them :( but at least I get to see them twice this summer!


On Saturday we prepared for my Grandpa Wood's 80th birthday party by mainly making the salads and such, Aunt Kathy did quite a bit leading up to it and on Friday night we did most of the set up so that come Saturday it would only be the last minute stuff to do. On Saturday afternoon the rest of the family arrived, except for a couple of people who couldn't make it (insert sad face here). It was a great program and and all around great evening, I'm pretty sure that despite the fuss grandpa made about this being to big of a deal he enjoyed himself AND loved his present.

On Sunday those of us that stayed the night all went to church in Cardston with grandpa, and then went to waterton after lunch. It was a beautiful day and even better we all spent it together :). I'm so glad that we have chances like this to hang out, it doesn't happen very often so when it does it's extra special.

Spiritual Punch

This weekend was fantastic!! On top of not having to work on Saturday (which NEVER happens) I got to attend a question/answer period with Elder Bednar. Now unlike some cousins who attend BYU Provo and probably see General Authorities all the time, it's not very often that we get one here so it was a rare opportunity that I was happy to experience. This meeting was special in that instead of the usual, he talks, we take notes thing he said that for two hours we could ask any question we wanted and he would give us just enough of an answer to get started, but he would let us figure out the rest. The questions that came from this were amazing and the answers were so simple yet powerful that it was like we could've figured them out for ourselves.

One of the things I liked was how he told everyone that asked a question to go buy a paper back copy of the Book Of Mormon and highlight EVERYTHING that had to do with the question, and after we finshed go back and re-read what we highlighted then write a one page summary of all that we learned. I found that a great way to study the scriptures, it never occured to me to buy a new copy of the Book Of Mormon everytime I want to find an answer, it's something that I will try and hopefully it will be more effective then how I study now.

Some other things I learned were:
-the way to revelation will always be preapred, but rarely in the way you want it
-even Nephi didn't get the plates on the first try, sometimes we have to fail a few times in order to succeed
-deserment means to see the good in others and help them to see it for themselves
-when you turn to the Lord in prayer don't ask for something as if you're ordering at a fast food resturant, and don't expect the answer right away
-the Lord will direct your steps and you won't know why, but in the end you'll find yourself exactly where you were meant to be
-even if you've been forgiven some concequences remain, it makes us into the person we are today and who we will become in the future
-we are a jar of black sand and everytime we do something right we drop a grain of white sand in and one grain of black comes out, soon all you'll be left with is white sand but it takes time

Those were only some of the things that were said and these aren't exact quotes but rather my interpretation. Everyone in the meeting felt something powerful, and it will change our whole outlook on life. The most powerful thing was Elder Bednar's testimony...I can't express in words what I felt in that chapel as he said "I know God lives" listening to an Apostle of the Lord say that was beyond description. It made me a stronger person and reminded me that even when I feel alone and like no one cares, there is one person that will always be there.

After the meeting all anyone wanted to do was to go home and read their scriptures, like my friend said, it was like a spiritual punch to the face. I am so glad that I was able to experience this and now I can't wait for conference in three weeks!!!