Worthy to Enter

I have one.

I have a temple recommend.

I'm just one signature away from being able to enter.

Sunday Thoughts

Today in Relief Society we were talking about being the best we can be. It got me thinking am I who I want to be right now? Last time I asked this question I didn't like who I was but right now life is going awesome. I am heading towards my goals and am really happy. I am learning not to judge people because who am I to judge? People make mistakes and repent so I should let them do so :). I was thinking today that often we forget that who a person was in the past is not who they are today. I am really trying to be more positive.

It was a great lesson. It also seems that everything is falling into place for me, ever since I decided on my plan to happiness life has got so much better. Every week brings something new and I love it, I am so happy. People actually are talking to me at church and know who I am. It's pretty awesome. I'm finally learning that if I just be myself then either people will like me, or they won't and really it shouldn't matter.

Also on Thurday I got my wisdom teeth out, I was pretty scared but honestly today was the first day I felt any pain and it wasn't even that bad. I'm lucky though I have an awsome roommate who relates to me and helped me feel ok about my semi-puffy cheeks. I'm also lucky that I didn't have to take any tylenol 3's. Those really make me feel out of it. Hopefully in a couple days I'll feel good enough to eat normal food.

PS: The weather has still been lovely :) It even rained today and it was still nice.

Gratitude List

Today I'm grateful for:
*The gospel-because without it I would be lost.
*The Holy Ghost-it comforts, whispers, and prompts me to be the best I can be. It also moves other people to do things for you, the person may not know why but through being in tune you might just make someone's day.
*Preisthood blessings-no matter who gives the blessing it all comes from the same place, the Lord knows what I need to hear and through his mouthpiece he tells me all I need to know.
*The Atonement-without it we could not hope to return to Heaven again.
*My parents-they are so understanding of me and I know that I can go to them with anything and they will be there to listen and make me feel better. I love and respect them so much.
*My roommates-they are two of my best friends and are always here for me, they are great and I'm grateful that we live together.
*Laughter-it makes you feel happier and instantly lifts your spirits :)
*Alone time-it gives you a chance to reflect.
*Music-again it lifts your spirits and helps to make you feel better and more in tune.
*My Savior-he died for me and for that I can never repay him, but because he suffered for me he understands when no one else can.
*Prayer-a way to talk and comunicate with my Father in Heaven.
*Scriptures-the way through which Heavenly Father can talk to me.
*Unconditional love-there's not much to say other then I'm grateful for it.
*Life-it's a learning experience but though experiences I can get stronger and grow every day.
*Weekends-a chance to rejuvinate yourself for the week ahead.
*Sleep-who doesn't love sleep?
*Books-reading is lovely, I love books.
*Forgiveness-no explanation necessary.

Fears and Dreams

Yeaterday I had a chance to reflect on my biggest fear and biggest dream. At first glance it may seem simple, like a one word answer or a simple phrase. But there is so much more to it, fears have a way of either inspiring you to do better or cause you to put it in the back of your head and never think about it. Dreams can also have that effect, if you choose to ignore it thinking it won't ever happen chances are it won't. It can also drive you to do anything in your power to get it.

Well after some thought I found that my biggest fear is failure. Failure to be become who I meant to be, failure to listen to others, faliure to see what's right in front of me, failing to miss opportunities because I am going to fast, falilure to get good grades, failing to make the most of this life...Now I know that we are told to do our best and the Lord will do the rest, but what if I think I am doing my best but really I could've tried harder? This is by far my greatest fear, I want to become all that I can be and sometimes it feels as if I'll never reach my full potential. Yes I'm being overdramatic but failure is honestly the thing that scares me the most.

On the flip side my biggest dream right now? This place:

Cardston Alberta Temple

I want to go through a session for myself, then after that first time go for others on the other side. I love how the temple changes people, I can always tell after someone has gone through because there is just something different about them. It's hard to explain but I want that. So bad. Through the years I've picked up bits and pieces but I still have no comprehension of what actually occurs. I remember one time when I went to pick my parents up at the temple as I sat in the van waiting for them to come out I just stared at the temple then as I was scanning it I looked at the top room I had this overwelming feeling of peace and I started to tear up. Actually every time I think about going inside I get emotional. I just want it so bad. There is so much to learn and I can't wait for the day when I am permitted to enter.

I sometimes feel like I shouldn't be wanting it this bad at my age, I mean I'm only twenty! I've had this conversation with my mom many times and it always comes to the same conclusion; good things come to those who wait. But one good thing about wanting it so bad is that I am not willing to let anything get in my way, and believe me when I say even if I have to wait another five years I will still have the same passion and want it just as bad or even more then I do now. I don't know when my dream will come true but I know that in the end all the waiting will be worth it :)

Sacrifice

Today our relief society lesson was on sacrifice and I have to say that it wasn't until I got to my parents house that it hit me, Abraham was told to sacrifice his son which he was very willing to do. What we forget is that Abraham's son was not a child, he was a grown man and if he had wanted to he could have fought off his father. But knowing that the commandment came from the Lord he was willing to give his life. Another aspect we fail to remember is that Abraham was almost sacrificed as a younger man himself so putting his son through what he thought he had avoided when he escaped must have been very difficult for him. But by excercising faith he showed the Lord that he was willing to do whatever was asked of him. I love this story because it shows me that whatever the sacrifice we never have to do it alone, the Lord always makes up for some of it. It's a comfort to know that there is always someone there for us and we never go it alone :)

Going Back

I lOvE church music, I really do. Which is why instead of doing homework I am taking a while to relax and listen to some good old efy music, all six cd’s that I have :P. I love the peaceful feeling I get when I listen and the memories associated with each cd. It’s like every song and cd was at a different point in my life, so when I listen I go back to what was happening that year and see how I truly have grown.

Today I also went through my journal, I was never good at keeping up with my journal so the only one I have spans from when I was eight (right after my baptism actually) up till now. I know I should do a better job at keeping up to date but it’s nice to have all my spiritual milestones in one place. I have everything from my baptism to going into the temple for the first time, to getting my patiriarchal blessing and finally all five years of efy that I attended. There are many other milestones in between and I know there are many more to come.

The only times that I wrote on a daily basis was at efy and I have to say it’s fun to see how I changed from the beginning of the week to the end and from year to year. I know how much I grew there so I can’t wait to apply in a few days to move up from participant experiences to being a counsellor and make those experiences happen for youth. I also may or may not want to keep an eye on my brothers ;). Anyways here’s one of my favourite songs, it's from efy 2008; Steady and Sure: One By One

A Great Sunday :)

I love Sundays they are about the only thing that keeps me going durring the long week, I have to say that this particular Sunday was a great one. You see I had to give a talk in church yesterday and normally I leave the preparing until the last minute...haha...but this time I started preparing the night I found out about my assignment. I loved it!! It felt like the topic was for my benefit rather then the people I was speaking to.

My topic was 2 Nephi 32:5 which says " For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter by the way and recieve the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things, which ye should do." It was just what I have been searching for in the last few months!! When I got up to speak I didn't even sound nervous and I said everything that I wanted to, it was perfect. Also it seemed that alot of people enjoyed it because I kept getting comments on it, I even got two notes from the Love Box yesterday :) Also my mom was able to be there for my talk, it just so happened that she was doing visits as part of her calling. I loved having her there!!

To top off my Sunday I went over to Heather's house for a games night, normally I don't go to those type of things because I don't feel confident enough in a group of people I don't know that well. But yesterday I decided that I needed to get out more and I'm so glad I did. I finally feel like I'm getting to know some people.

So that was my Sunday :)