I'm going to tell you a story. The story of Ayla's last days. As said previously I won't share pictures but I want you all to know of my baby's strength. Here we go:
Ayla was happy as could be on Christmas. The happiest I had seen her in a long time. Christmas night however she started fussing and holding her head. I took her in to ER. They checked her ears and said that there was nothing wrong and sent me home.
The 27th she was back to her normal self, smiling and being the sweet baby I know her to be. She threw up. Then was miserable. Later she ran a fever much higher then I thought healthy so I ran her to emergency. They passed it off as the flu and sent me off with a prescription and home I went. She got worse. All night I was alternating Tylenol every four hours and Advil every six. I didn't get any sleep. I cuddled my screaming baby all night.
The 28th I called the doctor explaining that she wasn't improving (she wouldn't drink her formula just very little of petalyte). He said the medication would take a while to start working. She got much worse. At 11 I took her to Lethbridge ER. By the time they saw her her eye was drooping, the pupil wasn't responding and she was in so much pain she barely cried.
Off to a CT scan to tell us what was wrong. It came back saying there was something off in her brain but they wanted to get an MRI to tell us more. Unfortunately they can't do it for babies in Lethbridge. So I called Arles and off in the ambulance we went.
The whole way there I prayed. Not my baby. No. Don't do this to me. It was rough. I will never get the way she looked at me out of my head. Her eyes begged me for help, and I couldn't do anything. We got to the children's hospital and they took her from my arms and next thing I knew she was surrounded by every doctor in the ICU. They got her stabilized and took her for the MRI. She was in a drug induced coma.
The MRI showed that their suspicions were true. She contracted bacterial menagitis. She had suffered many mini strokes. She was in rough shape. But even hooked up to everything she was still pretty dang cute. She suffered quite a few seizures over the next few days and after a second MRI we knew things were not looking good. No amount of medication could control the seizures. Nothing was working.
They did a third MRI and after knowing that she would never function enough to even move we took her off life support. She lived ten more days in the hospice. I am in such awe of my baby's strength. Truly. The doctors said that her body was strong and other then her brain she was very healthy. The last days with her were such a blessing and throughout that time I found a peace of mind.
My beautiful baby girl had a short mission and I know that her little spirit had so much to teach me. She's still here though. I can feel her constant presence and I know that she loves Arles, our families, and I dearly. Watching her pass away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with but it's a beautiful thing. She looked so peaceful. I know her spirit can soar everywhere now.
She is mine. Always will be.
Showing posts with label really??. Show all posts
Showing posts with label really??. Show all posts
1.15.2013
6.21.2011
From Notes to Water
Well already it's been a great week :) It started on Sunday where for the first time in a long time I took notes at church. I always think of doing this but I never really do. On Sunday however I did, and it's amazing how much more you get out of the lessons when you do so. I didn't even have a piece of paper so I ended up taking notes on my phone, I'm sure people thought I was texting the whole time but really I wasn't, I was just getting so much out the lesson that I couldn't stop clicking away :P
In Sunday school we talked about the sacrement and as I relfected on what I truly think about durring the sacrement I realized that I sometimes don't give it my full attention. I have a special place for the Atonement and I really should be thinking about it more. A point that was brought out that stood out to me is that once you've repented, you're forgiven so move on. It's like that sin is gone. I need to remember that sometimes because I am pretty hard on myself, I need to let the past be the past and live in the here and now.
Yesterday however was totally different. For FHE we combined with a few other wards for a huge bar-b-q. Kim and I had decided before hand that we were going to leave before the sceduled water fight happened but instead we were having to much fun watching everyone else get soaked that we decided to stay for a bit. You can see where this is going...you're never safe at a water fight.
There I was laughing with Kim at people running around getting water thrown at them. When I see my friend look at me from across the field, he was carrying a cooler of water...then Kim says to me "he just mouthed you're name to his friends" so I ran. And Screamed. Unfortunately I wasn't fast enough and one guy grabbed me and my friend pours the whole thing on me. I was in shock :P I didn't even know what to do so I stood there for a bit, then I decided to join in. We're talking Julie here, do you think I can aim? No, not at all. So instead of getting them wet I missed and they got me a few more times. So I gave up for a while.
Well Kim and I decided to head home so I could put on some warm clothes. So I go around to where the boys are standing filling up their water bottles and such and tell them we're leaving (Kim is still dry at this point). Well it probably was not the smartest idea to go right where they were getting water. They dumped water on Kim, splashed me and after a cup of water being poured down my shirt *glaring at the screen here* we took off our shoes and joined in full force. Again this is Julie we're talking about, I can't aim so for every half a cup of water I dumped, at least three or four were thrown at me. Anyways needless to say I was completly soaked after an hour of this.
I mean it was totally worth it and I had a blast, but I was soOo cold and I'm pretty sure Kim and I were the worst soaked girls in the entire place. That's what you get for hanging out with guys I suppose. And to think we almost got away dry...oh well, it was tons of fun :)
Well I hope you enjoyed story time readers :) Moral of the story? Never laugh at the people getting soaked, you may just end up getting more wet then all of them.
In Sunday school we talked about the sacrement and as I relfected on what I truly think about durring the sacrement I realized that I sometimes don't give it my full attention. I have a special place for the Atonement and I really should be thinking about it more. A point that was brought out that stood out to me is that once you've repented, you're forgiven so move on. It's like that sin is gone. I need to remember that sometimes because I am pretty hard on myself, I need to let the past be the past and live in the here and now.
***
Yesterday however was totally different. For FHE we combined with a few other wards for a huge bar-b-q. Kim and I had decided before hand that we were going to leave before the sceduled water fight happened but instead we were having to much fun watching everyone else get soaked that we decided to stay for a bit. You can see where this is going...you're never safe at a water fight.
There I was laughing with Kim at people running around getting water thrown at them. When I see my friend look at me from across the field, he was carrying a cooler of water...then Kim says to me "he just mouthed you're name to his friends" so I ran. And Screamed. Unfortunately I wasn't fast enough and one guy grabbed me and my friend pours the whole thing on me. I was in shock :P I didn't even know what to do so I stood there for a bit, then I decided to join in. We're talking Julie here, do you think I can aim? No, not at all. So instead of getting them wet I missed and they got me a few more times. So I gave up for a while.
Well Kim and I decided to head home so I could put on some warm clothes. So I go around to where the boys are standing filling up their water bottles and such and tell them we're leaving (Kim is still dry at this point). Well it probably was not the smartest idea to go right where they were getting water. They dumped water on Kim, splashed me and after a cup of water being poured down my shirt *glaring at the screen here* we took off our shoes and joined in full force. Again this is Julie we're talking about, I can't aim so for every half a cup of water I dumped, at least three or four were thrown at me. Anyways needless to say I was completly soaked after an hour of this.
I mean it was totally worth it and I had a blast, but I was soOo cold and I'm pretty sure Kim and I were the worst soaked girls in the entire place. That's what you get for hanging out with guys I suppose. And to think we almost got away dry...oh well, it was tons of fun :)
Well I hope you enjoyed story time readers :) Moral of the story? Never laugh at the people getting soaked, you may just end up getting more wet then all of them.
7.16.2010
Yuck
TMI Warning; This post is not for people who have a weak stomach, so reader discretion is advised.
I've avoided blogging about this because to it's some what gross and at the time I didn't want people to know but since it's sbout the only exciting thing that's happened since my cousins left I thought what the heck. SoOo about a week and a half ago I was coming down with what I thought as a cold since I never have allergies, now it makes sense that it was allergies but at the time it never crossed my mind.
Anyways my tuesday was like any other one, I went to work, came home, facebooked for a bit then sat down for dinner. As I sat down and was about to take a bite of my chocolate chip pancake I sneezed (harmless right?) Well it wasn't harmless, right after I sneezed blood started coming out of my nose, so I went to the bathroom and tried to make it stop; normally it takes five mintues max for it to stop, not this time!!
It only got worse, it was pouring, literally pouring out of both nostils and all I could see was blood pooling in my sink. At this point (it's been 15 mintues now) my mom is starting to panic, she called my neighbour who is registered in first aid and asked her what we should do. She told us to get to the hospital to see if they can stop it. Right after she hung up the phone my dad gave me a blessing so that I wouldn't faint or something, I don't even remember much of what was said, I was kinda freaking out at that point.
So we left for Raymond and luckily I have a mother who was willing to hand me tissues and hold a bucket so that I didn't get blood everywhere, you should've seen the bathroom sink...it was so nasty. Anyways by the time we got to the ER my nose had basically stopped and all the doctor needed to do was take a look at me to make sure I was alright. Durring the time I was there all I could think was "I cannot believe that I am in the ER for a stupid nose bleed", luckily there was no one there except the nusres and doctors to see my face covered in blood.
It turns out that taking Advil really does thin your blood because a couple days earlier I had taken some, mix that with hay fever and a really dry nose and you get a horrible nose bleed. I still can't believe that it lasted for about 45 minutes before it stopped...and that I wasted a perfectly good wash cloth on my nose. I would've taken a picture but I was to grossed out to show the world my lovely experience.
So moral of the story?? Don't take Advil durring allergy season.
I've avoided blogging about this because to it's some what gross and at the time I didn't want people to know but since it's sbout the only exciting thing that's happened since my cousins left I thought what the heck. SoOo about a week and a half ago I was coming down with what I thought as a cold since I never have allergies, now it makes sense that it was allergies but at the time it never crossed my mind.
Anyways my tuesday was like any other one, I went to work, came home, facebooked for a bit then sat down for dinner. As I sat down and was about to take a bite of my chocolate chip pancake I sneezed (harmless right?) Well it wasn't harmless, right after I sneezed blood started coming out of my nose, so I went to the bathroom and tried to make it stop; normally it takes five mintues max for it to stop, not this time!!
It only got worse, it was pouring, literally pouring out of both nostils and all I could see was blood pooling in my sink. At this point (it's been 15 mintues now) my mom is starting to panic, she called my neighbour who is registered in first aid and asked her what we should do. She told us to get to the hospital to see if they can stop it. Right after she hung up the phone my dad gave me a blessing so that I wouldn't faint or something, I don't even remember much of what was said, I was kinda freaking out at that point.
So we left for Raymond and luckily I have a mother who was willing to hand me tissues and hold a bucket so that I didn't get blood everywhere, you should've seen the bathroom sink...it was so nasty. Anyways by the time we got to the ER my nose had basically stopped and all the doctor needed to do was take a look at me to make sure I was alright. Durring the time I was there all I could think was "I cannot believe that I am in the ER for a stupid nose bleed", luckily there was no one there except the nusres and doctors to see my face covered in blood.
It turns out that taking Advil really does thin your blood because a couple days earlier I had taken some, mix that with hay fever and a really dry nose and you get a horrible nose bleed. I still can't believe that it lasted for about 45 minutes before it stopped...and that I wasted a perfectly good wash cloth on my nose. I would've taken a picture but I was to grossed out to show the world my lovely experience.
So moral of the story?? Don't take Advil durring allergy season.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)